Can Your Marriage Survive an Affair?
Can your marriage survive the affair of your spouse… an affair you did not know she was having until it was almost too late?
The signs were there. However, the confidence in your marriage was so concrete you did not even notice them… those signs that read your spouse was having an affair. Then the signs became so strong you could not help but notice them.
Once you noticed them you could not deny it.
Your spouse was having an affair. When confronted.. the truth was hidden until she too could not deny it. Then the truth came out in a highly defensive manner.. while at the same time admitting the blame was all on her… but.. was it really?
Perhaps she has moved out.. or you have… and the ache that is left is unbearable.
You had total confidence in her. You never ever would have thought of checking up on her.. or doubting her.. ever.. anywhere.. with anyone.
You trusted her… completely and fully.
Perhaps it is that trust that will save your marriage… for it is what you still must do. You must continue to trust her.. and begin asking yourself just why did she have the affair? You can ask her that question but she may not want to answer you for many reasons. First among those might be a fear you would immediately reject the answer if it at all pointed to you.
So.. look at yourself first.. in a painfully.. brutally honest way.. as you perhaps have never looked at yourself before.
Just what has there been in your attitude.. your treatment towards your spouse that may have caused her to look elsewhere for anything? It does not matter what she was looking for. What matters is why she was looking.
Were you aware of her… truly aware of her? You most likely knew her likes and dislikes.. but did they matter? Did you care about her feelings? You may have known of them… but did you show her you cared about them?
You had confidence in your marriage… but was it a confidence that allowed you to take everything your spouse stood for for granted? Did you stop giving compliments.. that kiss goodbye and hello… the words that let her know you care, like a simple “I love you… you know”?
Was it a confidence that helped you tune out everything she tried to tell you… or perhaps caused you to listen to the first three words and tune out the rest?
Was it a confidence that caused you to become increasingly careless of the emotions of your spouse and needs.. almost of her very existence?
Do not expect anything of her right now.
It is you you need to concentrate on.
Once you have found the answer to why she had to look elsewhere for anything… and been brutally honest with yourself to the point you can answer definitively to exactly why she went looking elsewhere… and are then ready to change… then and only then is when you need to go and read How To Fix Your Broken Relationship.
There you will be guided to steps to bring your marriage back on track… and to get you to the point where you will never again allow it to get to this broken point.